What if, What if not, What not if? Where is A Path?! / by Sheena Patel

By Ying Zhang   

Today I received a very interesting question from my students: "what would you like to be, or to revise to be if you are allowed to redo your life.... ?" 

Well, it is basically a question about a possibly reversed path of life and a possibly proposed alternative path of what we might create by recognizing negative emotions in terms of desire and regret. 

My immediate answer to them was " I don't want to redo or revise my life. And I'm very satisfied with who I'm and what I have been in any case". 

My following up interpretation is as follows: 

Firstly, each has an unique path and it doesn't make any sense to compare between units and cross time-being, not to mention it is wise to hypothesize either to redo, or to copy, or to revise. Self to self is this. Self to others is like this too. It is the same logic as that between organizational units.

Secondly, I do not suggest "commit suicide" by using a list of "nonsense comparison" index either vertically or horizontally. My believed notion is each of our experiences in the past should be respected and valued, as it is the thing shaping an unique you and me and building up each set of special relationship paths between you and me. It is like our DNA, invaluable for each spot of a chain, not possible to be compared in each others on their positions. The motivation to redo or revise is thus from an unacceptance of self and an negative emotion such as regret and desire.

Third, life is an one-way journey as a pre-condition. It is clear that desire is the killer of being competitive (the alternative name of this is being unique) that we human being designed to compare with each species.Desire is the result of a disordered spinning of what ifs and the roots of frustration for now, worries from the past, and anxiety to an imagined future with no-questioned uncertainty. 

To solution, "being forgetful" is of being forgiving, and it can eliminate worries for the past. Being self- conscious is of being self-loved, and it is the key to create a peace for "seemingly-uncertained future".. Embracing such however needs more understanding of "no way for what ifs", and no action for "self excuse" for what ifs. Embracing present for being self- esteemed and self-responsible is to provide self strength away from the fear in the mind and the withdrawing in the behavior.

In the end, life ( in this beautiful turbulences of soul age circle) , measured by time being, has only one direction, and we know this direction has not be able to be reversed yet, at least with nowadays technology and understanding of diversified but interacted spaces and energies. Such circumstance is the reason to bring us being able to meet at this point and into this space. So what we need to do is just to give up a simply hypothesizing what ifs, but to openly accept "what if not" and "what not ifs". Then we shall embrace peace in mind and able to cherish each other's companion, even in any sort of shapes, to value what we have been in this wonderful meeting-up series

 

无欲,不争,柔弱 - 佛道同归。

所谓心定则安,心安则静,心静则乐,复而增长,延而益寿。

 

Source; https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-where-path-ying-zhang